Thursday, January 17, 2008

Thoughts on Fatherhood

Hello all -- sorry to bombard you with two new posts in two days. It's all the Lavender news you can handle!!

I'm no Bill Cosby, but I just wanted to share some random thoughts on fatherhood. I've been a father for lo, these past 7 weeks now, and I've got more questions than answers. If any of you can enlighten me, please do so.

Also, these will be funnier if you say them out loud in your best Seinfeld voice.

What's the deal with baby poop? The formula is always white, the water is always clear, so why is each baby poop different than the one before it? What's the deal with that?

What's the deal with babies sleeping? They can sleep backwards and upside down lying across someone's kneecap with both arms pinned behind them but the second you lay them on something comfy -- like a mattress -- they wake up? What's the deal with that?

What's the deal with baby gas? They get a couple of air bubbles in them and you'd think they were going to explode. There's apparently enough air in 5 ounces of formula to cause a baby to start writhing, her legs kicking wildly, until you'd think she's got enough pressure in her intestine to launch a space shuttle. Oh, and then when it's all over, she smiles like it has been the most enjoyable experience of her young little life. What's the deal with that?

I guess that's it for now. Please be sure to read LLL's post from yesterday if you haven't already. In the interest of not posting without a picture, here's a picture of a funny monkey for everyone to enjoy:


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