I heart Google

If you're a Googlite, like I am, then you're familiar with the fact that Google now tries to predict what you're searching for and fill in the search bar for you, based on common searches by other people. I've read several accounts where people found hilarious and/or alarming searches that pop up under the Google search bar. I decided to try it for myself, and I was not disappointed.

I started off with this 'softball' search, thinking that if there's going to be anything funny or strange on the Internet, the president would be a prime target (Side note -- I wonder if my name is going to appear on a Homeland Security watch list for using the phrase "the president would be a prime target." I hope not.) "Barack Obama is the Antichrist" of course jumped out at me, but what really perplexed me was "Barack Obama is your new bicycle". What in the world does that even mean? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Here's another good one. I'm glad that the list contains BOTH "Why do I have so much gas" (representing the classier folks in the world) AND "Why do I fart so much" (representing the rest of us). As for "Why do Indians smell", it should be obvious that the ones who think this are the ones who have all the unexplainable gas. Trust me: it's you, not them.

I thought it was deliciously ironic that "What do I do if I miss a birth control pill" and "What do I do if I'm pregnant" appeared on the very same search. Also, there is an amazing number of people concerned about their iPod...and their dog. The wackiest search I found: "I can't believe that someone like Osama bin Laden could ever understand the joys of Hanukkah". Geez, I don't even know what to say about that, other than "No duh."

Where to begin? "Why can't I own a Canadian"? I know that deep down, we all want to own a Canadian, or at least a northern Minnesotan. But -- alas -- we know that it's just not meant to be, for myriad reasons. What are those reasons? I don't know. You'll have to Google it. And, more importantly: "Why can't I just eat my waffle"? Amen, brother. Amen.

Quinn