Yours Alone

I used to be afraid to use public toilets...but not any more. Because I use: Yours Alone (TM) Toilet Seat Covers. Why spend time on the commode worrying about who else has sat there? The 1 mm-thick tissue paper of Yours Alone (TM) Toilet Seat Covers protect you from whatever cooties they may have been carrying -- as if the toilet seat were yours....and yours alone.

(We actually have these in our bathroom at work. I don't know which is funnier -- the name "Yours Alone" or the sentimental cursive writing.)